I Need Decaf

Written on 8:46 PM by ./dave

I am one of those people who drinks decaf coffee.  For all of you pricks out there thinking "what's the point of that?" all I can tell you is that I was once like you.  About eight months ago, though, I decided that my _enormous_ caffeine consumption might be linked to the migraines I was constantly getting.  I'm the type of guy that when I like doing something I do it a lot, and I really liked drinking coffee.  I would drink up to 5 large mugs of coffee a day.

I was right about the migraines.  When I quit caffeine I had a headache for about a week and a half straight.  The frequency of my migraines has decreased sharply since then, though.

When I first mad the switch I didn't drink coffee at all, sticking with decaf green tea in the mornings.  But I don't really like tea.  Every once and awhile I try to tell myself that I do, but the truth is that I don't.  Tea is gross.  Needing some sort of morning ritual that was more spiritually fulfilling than a glass of water I went ahead and did what was once unthinkable.  I switched to decaf.

I know, decaf has a small amount of caffeine in it.  Shut up, Mr. Factoid.

On the floor I work on there's one other decaf drinker, a very cold and unfriendly woman who's probably about fifteen years older than I am.  This woman is very paranoid when it comes to the coffee. 

I make the decaf coffee pot probably around half of the time.  On the days when I do make the coffee the woman can be counted on to approach my desk in order to confirm with me that I was the maker of the coffee.  She usually checks that I know the difference between the decaf coffee packets, which are orange, and the regular coffee packets, which are brown.  Each time I confirm with her that yes, I do know the difference.  The decaf trust we have built remains unbroken.

I usually feel pretty good after these interactions, because she and I are a team.  And our team doesn't do stuff like make each other drink caffeinated coffee.  In fact, that's the only rule that our team has.

Earlier this week I was thinking about this good feeling I always get from these interactions as I filled my morning coffee cup and realized that I felt good for basically knowing what a three-year-old knows; the difference between orange and brown.  I think it's the fact that the woman always seems impressed that makes me feel so good.  Even a small accomplishment can reap great rewards if celebrated properly.

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