I believe you have my stapler

Written on 8:55 PM by ./dave

There is a dude at my work who looks *exactly*... and I mean this... *precisely* like the dude from Office Space with the red Swingline stapler, Milton Waddams.  Well, okay, he doesn't look exactly like him, but the effect of the dude is very much the same.  Like the way GW looks like a monkey.  In that kind of way.

The funny thing is that I saw him in the hallway a few weeks ago and I realized that he had dyed his hair black.  I am dying to corner him and talk this through.  I would say, "Okay, you've got the right idea.  Changes need to be made and I'm glad that you're taking some action.  We just need to refine your approach now.  First off, the pants that are three inches above your shoes when you're standing - we need to revisit that strategy.  The short sleeve button up shirt, just like it says on the Simpsons, that's only for Detective Sipowicz.  And he wasn't cool.

"There is no need for you to carry a briefcase around.  We keep our information on computers now. Unless it's full of cash and handcuffed to your wrist, it needs to go.  Next, we need to think about getting you a tan.  You look like a tapeworm.  The sun is your friend.

"And you see, it's after all this has been accomplished that we might try getting fancy with a new haircut or some cool kicks.  That's for after the race.  Right now we're at the starting line."

Or maybe I'll just drop a DVD copy of Beauty and the Geek on his desk and see if that helps.

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